Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Let's Be...

I have to tell you right from the start...I'm ready to write off 2012. I am, this year to say the least has been hectic. How awful is it to live this way? To dread another day that you are sure is going to bring stress and heartache, that you feel as if you can't take another minute of it.

I'm fed up and ready for something different. I'm ready to just BE..

It is strange how this whole year my focus was BE, in fact it is {was} my one little word for 2012, and here we are the middle of September and I still haven't found my {BE}ing.

I made the scary, hard, life changing, decision to become a full-time mother, wife, sprinkler changing, gopher trapping, cow herding little fool this year! It has been a month since I didn't go back to work at the school and I'm still trying to find my {place}. I have always worked outside of the home, away from the {man's domain} aka our ranch, ;0) so it is all new to me an my little family. I'm giving it some time though, I really am focusing on what I will accept in our lives and what I will not put up with any longer. I recently came upon a post about a horse clinic with Buck Brannaman, a true horse whisperer. In his clinic he talked about letting the horse just {BE}, that given a chance a horse will return to the quiet of his soul and the true meaning of what they are...

To {be}...what a beautiful and peaceful place...it is what i desire the most in my life. With Buck's whispers in my ears, I decided to take Clancey and our mares, Pippi and Party Twister, on a day of just {be}ing.

{our old cowdog Tick decided he wanted to tag along}


We reconnected with each other, the land, and our horses. We all made promises under the golden hue of fall that we are going to {BE} and that it is enough.


Unknown said...

I can totally relate to your post. I have been an at home Mom for 17 years, though I have always worked part time in some capacity, it is difficult to just "BE". I was working full time for the last 6 months, hated it, and just came home again. Give yourself time to readjust to what really matters to you. All will become clear in time.

AntiqueChase said...

Hang in there

Alice said...

After commuting to work in another city for what seemed like an eternity (and it was a place I wanted to retire at) the office was suddenly shut down and our jobs given to people down in Florida who didn't care about our customers. It took some time, but finally I found my place,and have never looked back. You'll find your place there too.

Cheyenne said...

Kristin, I always appreciate hearing from you-wherever you are at in life. I don't think we can give each other advice really, but we can listen, commiserate, rejoice and grieve together---as women, wherever we are at in life---on a ranch or in down town NYC, we have many of the same emotions. We all have to find our 'place.'

When life is so tricky, I find myself having to quiet myself and come back to a place of gratitude--in whatever situation I'm in. I'm grateful to see that you come back to what matters---a day of quiet with you and your daughter.

and the sun continues to shine...

you are a lovely soul.

an awesome mother.

a talented artist.

a gifted photographer.

and I'm sure you can castrate, handle a horse, and move equipment...:)

Anne Marie said...

us mothers who embrace life as such, can sometimes be spreading our arms so wide to hold it all -
it's as warm as the autumn sunshine at times, but as hard as workin' the horses in the ice and snow

our daughter's looking for a western saddle for our 16 hands horse - know of any?

Blondie's Journal said...

I have been a stay at home mother for as long as I can remember. While raising my children, I think I sort of lost my authentic self. It is only now that they are older that I think I have come to see myself as a whole person, separate from them. I now have time and energy to live in the moment and just be. I owe it to myself. You do, too.


Elise Ann Wormuth said...

I've just come off of three years of family stress, so I truly sympathize. I'm glad you were able to just "be" with your horses today. That's a blessing.

Sueann said...

Consider the rest of this year as a dress rehearsal. You will do great!

Sheila Rumney said...

Your heartfelt words touched me today. Sometimes for me the answer comes in my most quiet times. So glad you made precious time with your daughter. May God continue to bless you.

Shelley @ Born in a Barn said...

Kristen, you have made BIG changes in your BEing this year, so please be gentle with yourself and patient. I live right up the road from Buck Brannaman and he is everything and more, a horse whisperer. Watch his movie and you will realize everything he applies to horses applies to us too. Take good care of you, I so enjoy your blog!! Shelley


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