i'm not even certain that i can put words to my thoughts on this post but i have to try...
i have to try so i might see a break in the dark clouds that have settled within my soul...
our family has been faced with a new trial, nothing life threatening or detrimental to our health...thank goodness...
but each morning when i awake i am filled with dread, a twisted, heart eating feeling...
uncertainty as to what is going to happen to my little family, how will we continue on and what of our dreams...
it is a wait and see {and lots of prayers} that everything will work out...
i believe the waiting is the hardest for me, i need a plan, i need to act and channel this frustration into something certain...
but why faced with change and the wait am i quick to focus on the uncertainty? am i the only one...
the only one to let the uncertainty feed upon me and turn me into someone i'm not familiar with...
a prairie girl who is afraid, who wants to hide....
a prairie girl who is looking for an escape...
a prairie girl who feels as if she has failed in every aspect of her life...
i'm trying...
trying to wake each morning and see all the amazing possibilities...
the possibilities that may not have come our way without this uncertain change...
the possibilities that will unearth new dreams...possibilities that reveal i didn't fail but soared on the winds of uncertainty...
45 comments:
Hey hon....
what's going on??
I am touch beyond words by your openness... and so wish I could sit with you and just let you talk it out...
Hugs...
Ruth
Hi Kristin ~ I'm with Ruth...is everything okay?
Sorry that life has such a weight on you right now...Wish I were closer to have you over. Remember we're here for you! Sending you hugs ~ Rebecca
I hear your voice and commend your honesty. I hope that this will pass soon and your heart will soar again.
I'm sorry you are going through these uncertain times, and I pray they get resolved quickly.
You are not alone when you have these feelings. It is part of the human makeup that causes this fight or flight response from long ago when humans had to protect themselves from things they could not control. It's actually a good thing because it makes us more aware of what is happening, and keeps us from just giving up completely.
Remember the blessings you have, and be proud of what it took to get you this far.
Change can bring uncertainty, but also hopes and dreams for the future.
Oh sweet girl,
I know that feeling of being scared and uncertain for you and your family!! It eats at you if you let it. Just know that no matter what, God is watching over you all and has amazing plans for your future, even if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, it is there, I know this from past difficulties. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and just have faith, He is preparing you for bigger and better things!
Big hugs,
Sincerely,
Melinda
What an openly raw post. Without change we wouldn't learn and grown. I'm hoping that whatever this change may be that it ultimately brings you security and happiness.
Hugs and love to you, and I know it's been said, but God is watching over you...and this too shall pass:)
Oh, Kristin. Uncertainty is so unsettling, isn't it? Know that we're all here for you and sending out all the positive and happy thoughts we can muster.
Kristen, I hope that you will find peace within to help you cope with whatever it is you're going through right now. I know that we all have hard times on occasion and that's what apparently makes us stronger, though it doesn't change the fact that LIFE CAN BE SO TOUGH on us and it is certainly hard to deal with these things sometimes. In faith, I always try to believe that things work out the way they're supposed to in the end, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. Chin up...you have many of us blogger friends who will keep you AND your family in our prayers : ) Big Hugs to you!
~Destiny
Sorry, I wish I could help you at this time of unrest. I'll say a prayer that things return to normal.
Thinking of you!
xxx Liz :)
When we can't see where we are going or where the road ahead leads we are filled with uncertainty. Uncertainty is that "not knowing" and the unknown of "what if" -- it makes us shake in our boots.
No matter what darkness you are feeling surrounded by -- it's just one day at a time. You can do no more, no less but get through each day as it comes.
Be prepared to look with new eyes and to listen with new ears. Be open to possibility that what you thought might end up being something you never imagined.
And know that you have much love and support surrounding you...no matter what ♥
Health is MOST IMPORTANT... Other than that YOU can survive, move on... Sometimes "adjusting" to a different way of life is hard - maybe even long... Life is a school and we're here to learn the lessons... One of my Favorite Quotes is: My Resistance to the disturbance IS THE DISTURBANCE... Think about that - it's sooooo freeing...
Sending you warm loving thoughts as you sift through whatever...
Jeanine, ChiPPy!-SHaBBy!
I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. I know that looking back on the most difficult times in my own life, and I am amazed at how strong I was and the growth that came from it. You'll see it in yourself too. For some reason, this quote always resonates during these times:
'If you're going through hell, keep going.'~Winston Churchill
You'll come out at the other side with so much!
when EVERYTHING else disappears.......friends and family remain. Not sure what u r going through...but no matter what.....hold fast to ur dreams.
Even if u LOSE everything u thought was most important...u can START OVER~ :)
Grab my hand, feel the squeeze..and breathe. I too am grasping for hands to hold to get me through my latest looming uncertainties.
Hold on to all of us out here whether you know us or not. We're all pulling for each other. Courage can be found here.
xx
z
Kristin-so many wonderfully warm & thoughtful comments have been left here...so much love. I'm praying for you and sending good thoughts and hugs!
Tammy
Junk Wild
When I have to go through uncertain tough times, the quote that always makes me feel better is "This is not the hill I will die on". I have always managed to get to the other side of that hill. Hang onto those words, they have helped me through some tough situations.
XOX
:( I hope all is okay and more importantly that everything gets better!
xo~ Michelle
Keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers. Knowing that God has a plan, and things always seem to work out the way they are suppose to. Thinking of you,
Jeanette
There is a line from Isiah that says, "Peace Like a river." That river flows through all that cast their cares on the Lord. For in following the Lord and you said prayer, there is a peace that surpasses all understanding. First though I must trust the Lord that He will take care of me.
There are struggles and this is when I seek out His help to carry me through uncertain times.
May God guide you and be a beacon in your search.
sending you hugs during this difficult time.
xo,
LuLu
Kristin, I don't know what you are facing or going through and I don't need to know. All I know is I'll be praying for you and your family! You are such a wonderful person (and all the posts here show this!). I hope you find peace and are no longer afraid. HUGS to you my friend!!
My heart just goes out for you during this time. May God give you strength and comfort. As one door closes, He always open another door. My prayers are with you.
"Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break."
You have spoken your grief, small prairie girl. Wrap yourself in the warmth of the words written here by people who have responded with love. They are many, and strong-shouldered. See? You are not alone, and with that assurance, know that all will be well.
Witch by Night
Kristin, I echo all of the wise words that those before have posted. Know that you have a lot of people who are sending you strength to deal with what you are facing. You are loved. Sea Witch
Sending love from the Arizona Desert...
I promise..I could have just read my own thoughts..You are so not alone..
Here's a great big HUG and hoping that everything works out.
Sorry dear one that stress and strain is trying to capture your spirit!! Makes getting up in the morning tough!
Be your own best friend and love on yourself...breath!!!
Sending you love and hugs from NM
SueAnn
I love your post...It brought back memories of a place my life was in several years ago. I too, was scared and wanted to hide. Just take one day at a time, pray and trust in yourself, be kind to yourself. The sun will come out soon, I promise! You have lots of friends sending you love. As many of your follows are saying...BREATHE....
Uncertainty & change can be very scary things. Wishing you peace and comfort during this time of turmoil for you, dear Kristin. There's a line at the end of my favorite movie{It's A Wonderful Life}..."no man is a failure who has friends"...well sweetie, you've got lots of friends right here{some you don't even know}! So, you're not a failure...just human. Sending big hugs and prayers to you & yours:)
thinking of you during this transition and hoping all the best for you and your family!
xoxo
amy
His plan is so much greater than our own. I will pray that you have peace in your going through.
Kristin - Comeca nailed it when she said, "His plan in so much greater than our own." Keep the faith, dear friend. Just remember that if you have your health....that's half the battle. :) Sure wish I could sit and talk it out with you, too. Instead, I will keep you in my prayers and hope that He sends you an answer soon. ♥
xoxo laurie
ahh sweetie...i'm so sorry that you are going through something hard. what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. i firmly believe that! and i also believe strongly that things always happen for a reason. sometimes it's hard but it always brings us to something new and possibly wonderful!
big hug!!
I hear you hon! And no - you are not the only one. You just managed to out into words so well what some of us can't say. I so agree with the lovely comments left here and hope you can find your way to soar!
Sending hugs and prayers your way my friend.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. ~Psalms 3:5-6
Kristin i am so sorry for the trials which have come your way and for the uncertainty you are facing. i hope that all will be well and that this time of hardship will turn and your life will be filled with the sweetest of blessings.
I will be praying for you.
Hello, what's going on? I don't know what happen but since i cope with blues, i may understand what you feel. So, if i could help, i send you my best hug and support and maybe eat relaxing food, tea, sleep enough and sunshine may help to deal with the frustation more clearly.
I adore your pictures, am waiting for your tutorial.
Hey there,
Firstly, I want to say I'm glad I discovered your blog in the pages of Artful Blogger, I'm from Alberta, Canada.. and have a special place in my heart for the prairies.
Secondly, I'm sorry that whatever you are going through is difficult. It's always a struggle to maintain a positive mind frame through tough periods. I hope you get the courage and strength to cope with whatever is coming your way.. be it good or bad!
Melanie
Kristen, Have you every heard the song "Blessings" by Laura Story? Her sweet voice will sing straight to your heart. Look on YouTube and you will find it, and I promise, you will be comforted!
oh sweet friend, i'm sorry you are going through this tough time. i'll keep you in my prayers. sending hugs, susan
Friend, I admire your honesty and raw openness with this post. Saying a prayer for you and your family. I know that the burden on you is one God know's you can handle.
I too am filled with uncertainty. I have been going through this for so many years. I could ask why. Why is this happening to us. I could handle it happening to me, but not my babies too. But through it all, I have found, my family and friends are all that matter.
With them, I will NEVER be alone. Through prayer, I can pour my heart out to a loving and understanding Heavenly Father and feel his love through the little miracles that blossom around me.
Stay strong and think of it as a new journey. Your dreams don't die with trials, maybe they are put off for a moment, but the dreams in your heart will keep you moving on.
Hey there Kristin! please forgive me for not stopping by sooner - I know you understand :)
this post hits so close to home...and I'm actually wanting to post about something similar later this week if I can muster up the guts to do so....I have the guts, but the time to actually put it into words others can understand is the challenge!
just in case no one told you this today: i love you.
xo!
Anne Marie
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